


I'm Not Dead

by Riv_Riv_03



Series: The return to the League [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, League of Assassins Sara Lance, Past Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance, The League of Assassins (DCU), song: I'm not dead (P!nk)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riv_Riv_03/pseuds/Riv_Riv_03
Summary: Second part to return to the league, based of I'm Not Dead by P!nk"The ship is going to be ran like the League for the next week, I know not many of you are familiar with its ways but I am expecting you to try and follow the rules" It was hard to imagine their Captain, the woman who saved all their souls and was their shoulder to lean on, was anything like the monsters in the stories. Yet, deep down he knew that she was, he saw her rampage through armies, kill countless people, torture children.She had to admit even though the teaching methods to withstand torture were medieval they worked, and it would be hard to implement them on the ones she loved, but Ava had to be ready for the rough road ahead. Ava spent that night alone shackled to a chair in a pitch-black room, as Sara cried alone in her bed. The sound filled the ship, until it faded to soft whimpers, leaving several new scars on the assassin’s wrists.more chapters coming soon
Relationships: Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Series: The return to the League [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894513
Kudos: 6





	1. There's all these cracks

There's all these cracks  
Crack of sunlight  
Crack in the mirror, on your lips  
It's the moment of a sunset, Friday  
When our conversations twist  
It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo  
But the ice should be on our heads  
We only spun a web to catch ourselves  
So we weren't left for death

* * *

It was the morning after they had decided to return to the League together, Sara laid in Ava’s arms thinking of the best way to prepare her for the oncoming Demon. As strong, disciplined and well-trained Ava is she knew that she wouldn’t last. Ava stirred and looked in her love’s eyes, “Are you still sure about this?” Sara confirmed her decision from the previous night with a nod and a kiss to the top of her head. “Babe, I know that you can fight but you are too light for the League, you will die within a week.” Ava went to interrupt, but Sara placed a finger to her lips and continued, “So if you are still adamant on coming with me, then we need to get you League ready. I propose that we run the ship on League traditions for a week, apart from Gideon because I don’t want to be responsible for killing a team mate. It will be good for the team as well as they will get a week of intense training, plus it will be practise for me so when I kill Ra’s al Ghul I have some idea how to run Nanda Parbat.”

All the team gathered in the parlour curious to the nature of the upcoming meeting, “Gideon is something wrong with the timeline?” There was a brief pause, as if the AI was thinking how best to answer the question. “No Mr Heywood, I believe that this meeting is in reference to the League and Miss Sharpe and Captain Lance.” As if on cue they both marched into the room, however their Captain was dressed in what seemed to be protective black leather from head to toe. Sara briefly explained the situation to her team and that to them they would only be gone for a couple of days at most. “The ship is going to be ran like the League for the next week, I know not many of you are familiar with its ways but I am expecting you to try and follow the rules. First you are to address me as Ta-er al-Sahfer not as anything to do with my civilian name, so Mick that means no boss or blondie. Second, you are to speak in Arabic, if you don’t speak the language use your ingestible translators. Third, all of you need to be in League clothes so none of these bright colours. And finally, you will be training all day, so Gideon is still normal, if it gets too much or if you get injured or worse go to her. Are we clear?” They all nodded slightly scared of what the next week would bring.

Nate was in the library reading up about the League, trying to gather as much information as possible. On one point he thought it would be interesting to see his Captain’s second culture and study the ways of a group that is very rarely in history books but used as stories to scare people into submission. It was hard to imagine their Captain, the woman who saved all their souls and was their shoulder to lean on, was anything like the monsters in the stories. Yet, deep down he knew that she was, he saw her rampage through armies, kill countless people, torture children. This woman, Sara, had become a saint and a devil at the same time. She spun a web to stop her from falling through the cracks of the mirror, to avoid who she truly was.

“I hope I made the right decision, what if they can’t take it?” Sara’s head raced with questions, but what was done was done. Que Sara, Sara. As some would say. The sparks flew off her sword as she sharpened it, this was it the last week of freedom. She had ten minutes before calling the rest of the crew to the training hall. Time to release their inner monster, that took her back to training Kendra. Rip said she needed to teach her about her inner demon and Kendra taught her about her inner human. Funny thought, a human teaching a demi-god to be more ruthless. “Ta-er al-Sahfer the rest of the crew are waiting for you in the training room. As requested, I will remain the same in order to provide medical support, though if someone does get killed, I recommend getting them to me as quickly as possible.” Sara thanked the AI system, glad that someone was going to keep their humanity. She marched out of her courters down the corridor to her new awaiting class.

She had taught classes before but to people she never cared for, people that she would happily kill if they refused to do as she asked. But this was her family, it was the start of a new journey.

* * *

And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you  
And though this journey is over, I'll go back if you ask me to


	2. I'm Not Dead, Just Floating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Torture and self-harm

I'm not dead, just floating  
Right between the ink of your tattoo  
In the belly of the beast we turned into  
I'm not scared, just changing  
Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile  
You're my crack of sunlight

* * *

The training room felt cold compared to usual, the lights were the colour of candle light, and no bright colours were to be found. Everyone was black leather head to toe, with their heads bowed waiting for instructions. “Aintibah! (Attention)” the words came strangely naturally to Ta-er al-Sahfer, the language of her nightmares, yet it brought a sort of comfort. The heads rose to the person who was addressing them, eyes wide with fear for the day. Who could blame them? Nobody has seen their Captain as a cold ruthless killing machine before, no one dare had a hair out of place, not even Charlie. Ta-er al-Sahfer made her way down the line judging her new recruits, studying their muscles, their faces, but most importantly their eyes. The eyes told her whether they were capable of killing, of torturing one another. Right now, the answer was no, but that was soon the change.

“Say goodbye to your innocence. You look at the people around you, they are not your friends, they are obstacles to reach the top.” Her voice was cold and calculated, nothing more than a robot repeating words. “First, I need to know what you can withstand, I will call you individually. If you are not with me you spar. Once I am finished with you, tend to your wounds and get back to sparring. If you can’t then you are back with me tonight.” All the faces looking at her became ridden with worry, on what was in stall for them on the other side of that wall. “Is that understood?” A uniformed nod came as a reply.

Ta-er al-Sahfer studied their sparring patterns for a while, deciding which one she would fight first. Everyone was uniquely skilled in their own ways, not with powers, as they weren’t allowed, but with style. She could tell who had previous training, like Ava, each move was calculated and deliberate. Like her dad said a good spar was like a dance, you move together to paint a story where one of you will come out on top. Rory had strength but no discipline, he bulldozed his way through his opponent, a habit learnt early that was hard to break. Nate was careful, he went on the defence rather than the offence, a skill that was useful at times. She had done that a couple of times, let the person keep coming until they run out of steam then take them out. Charlie, you could tell had been running all her life. Her movements were quick and sneaky, like a child stealing food to survive. Her movements were similar to Zari’s, though Zari put a little more thought behind where her attacks could to the most damage, in turn giving her the most time. Ray, you could tell was trained by Oliver, yet retained his naivety to the real world of fighting to survive. Then there was Nora, she was the newest on the ship so Ta-er al-Sahfer had yet to see her train at all. Definitely a Darhk though, cold and calculated with every move. Finishing her walk around Ta-er al-Sahfer entered her makeshift chamber.

The chamber wasn’t much compared to the original at the League. All hated that room; it was the place full of nightmares. Ra’s al Gaul liked to play with people’s sanity in that room, how much pain and suffering could one endure before they gave up a piece of information. She had to admit even though the teaching methods to withstand torture were medieval they worked, and it would be hard to implement them on the ones she loved, but Ava had to be ready for the rough road ahead. In the past she had, had practice of torturing a loved one with Oliver. As well as, after Ra’s al Gaul found out about her and Nyssa’s relationship, he made them torture each other to prove that it wouldn’t weaken them. She thought if anything that made her and Nyssa’s relationship stronger, tested their boundaries they were willing to go to for the other.

The day was drawing to a close, everyone had their one-to-one sessions with Ta-er al-Sahfer. Most of them had managed to pick themselves up and continue sparring after. However, the one person she hoped would be ok wasn’t. “Ava could you come here please?” Ava knew what was in stall for her because she failed to continue fighting, as much as she wanted her Sara back, she knew that was not going to happen. Something unknown filled Sara’s eyes, they were black and numb to what she was doing. There was not love in them when they stared at each other, Ava was prepared for the lack of contact and displays of affection but seeing Sara as the cold-blooded killer she was, was not something she was ready for. Ava spent that night alone shackled to a chair in a pitch-black room, as Sara cried alone in her bed. The sound filled the ship, until it faded to soft whimpers, leaving several new scars on the assassin’s wrists.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have quite enjoyed writing dark Sara, I feel that side of her personality was brushed aside in Legends. Where do you think the story should go next? Any comments welcome! Riv Riv xxx :)


End file.
